Self-Care has always been a popular a buzz word. When we think of self-care, we tend to think about getting a massage, or spending the afternoon with a friend to get a manicure, or taking a bubble bath, or going to a yoga class.
Pre-covid we incorporated self-care into our busy lives when we could. We knew it was important and felt proud of ourselves when we actually followed through with making it a priority.
At the very beginning of the pandemic and into the summer of 2020, my husband and I were focused on exercising, eating healthy, meditating, and doing whatever we could to take care of our health and wellbeing.
Our stress levels were incredibly high so keeping our health in check was important. I was trying to keep my businesses alive, we were worried and unsure about our daughter’s school situation, at one point during the summer we were dealing with evening curfews in New York (which was crazy!). Then we were pretty sure my husband got Covid… and the list...
How to control eating habits? What are the thoughts that eliminate desire? How do you become indifferent to food and wine?
Imagine being head over heels in love with someone only to find out they are a serial killer, torture puppies for fun, and are a horrible human being. That desire is gone!
Take a moment to visualize a delicious brownie (or some other food you have a HIGH desire for) and conjure up the feelings of wanting it sooooo badly. Now visualize it being full of maggots and it has cockroaches crawling all over it. Instantly that desire is gone.
Wanting a glass of wine is not a fact. Wanting is a choice. The desire for certain foods is a choice, but our brains are powerful so we trick ourselves into thinking and feeling that we want that cupcake… that we NEED it.
What do you want to create for yourself? Make a million dollars? Stop drinking? Stop eating food that...
My weight loss journey has been a real struggle for me these past couple of years. I’ve been dealing with:
However, when you have a high desire to lose weight coupled with a high desire for food, those other issues I listed above are not really the problem.
Today is Day 29 of my 30-day renewal and I’ve learned a lot! Truly the transformation I experienced did not occur with my body like I thought it would. The transformation came from opening my eyes to the fact that I REALLY want to lose weight… and I REALLY get a lot of pleasure from eating food and drinking good wine.
This is my current programing, and I didn’t realize how powerful and ingrained into my subconscious it is.
Well, now I need to address this high desire for delicious food and good wine. My brain is sending me signals...
Why is making massive changes in our lives hard to sustain?
We are wired to stay safe. We are wired to survive.
When our “normal” is eating crappy food and drinking too much alcohol, we feel safe. There's a comfort in making those choices because it's what we do on a regular basis.
Then there comes a time when we desperately want to make changes in our lives, but our brain freaks out because we’re stepping outside our safety zone. Maybe it’s losing weight, or quitting smoking, or starting your own business, or cutting back on alcohol, or quitting your job… it’s natural for us to RESIST change.
Intellectually we know making these changes are good for us. We know incorporating healthier lifestyle choices into our lives will in fact help us to survive and live longer… but our brain doesn’t see it that way. All it sees is that we have felt safe eating crappy food and drinking too much wine, so making these changes must be a bad thing....
When You Know Your WHY, You Know Your WAY!
I’ve been talking about knowing your WHY with my coaching clients a long time before Simon Sinek made it popular.
We see the question “what’s your why?” in books, podcasts, motivational talks and workshops. It helps us establish meaning and a purpose behind our drive.
Knowing our WHY also helps us develop a sense of purpose. Studies show that people who feel a sense of purpose make more money, are happier, healthier & more confident, and deal with stress & anxiety more easily.
So here I am, on a 30-day renewal and today is day 9.
Have I slipped a little? Yep! In full transparency, on day 6 and 7 I slipped and didn’t fully stick to my plan. I’m back on track now, but what I realized is that I didn't get clear on my WHY at the beginning of the 30 days so it was easier to justify cheating.
No one is forcing me to do this 30-day renewal. I can drop it today and forget about it...
Health is a personal journey.
Weight is also a very personal journey.
Some people might read this and roll their eyes thinking that I really have nothing to worry about in terms of my weight. While it is true that I am not obese, depending on your definition, it is also true that my weight has been a private struggle and this is the first time I’m discussing it publicly.
I’m more comfortable telling someone my age than I am my weight. Not that my age or weight comes up in a conversation regularly, but it’s an interesting fact nonetheless. I’m sure many people feel the same way.
Lately, I don’t like looking in the mirror. I don’t like the way my clothes look on me. I don’t like the way I FEEL when I wake up in the morning.
It wasn’t always that way.
I was skinny as a kid – tall and lanky – but I could eat! My grandmother always commented on the fact that she didn’t know where I put it all. She said I had a hollow leg!...
What does that mean to you?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately as I’ve been shifting my energy and how I spend my days. Normally my days are time blocked from the moment I wake up to the moment my head hits the pillow at night. Meetings, sessions with clients, working out, creating programs, updating websites, meditating, working with my staff, eating, professional development, webinars, social media, writing, shooting videos, going live, family and domestic responsibilities.... ALL the things and more squeezed into a very short day.
That's the way it's been for a long time, but not any more. Over the past several weeks I've:
I learned about them from Dr John Amaral, who studied with and was mentored by Dr Donny Epstein.
The 4 Sacred Seasons are Discover, Transform, Awaken & Integrate.
When you’re in the season of Discover, shit is hitting the fan so-to-speak. Life has thrown you a curve ball and you’re being asked to discover something about yourself that you’ve been avoiding, suppressing, numbing, resisting… all the things we do as humans to evade the stuff in our lives we need to take a closer look at, acknowledge and accept about ourselves or our situation.
Transform is the season when you are full of energy and you take massive action! It’s actually more painful for you to NOT take action in this season. You see the future… the future is now… you set goals and work towards achieving them. You feel invigorated, motivated and excited about what you’re creating so there’s a lot of momentum and action.
I’m tired of feeling like nothing is working.
I’m tired of being sad.
I’m tired of working so fucking hard.
Recently I’ve taken a few things off my plate and will continue to over the next few months. I've sold one of my businesses... I stopped running my Mastermind for Female Entrepreneurs... I've opened up my schedule... I've put a pause on 1:1 coaching... and there will be more changes in the upcoming months.
My focus now will be to wake up every morning, meditate, tune into what I really need to be focusing on… and do THAT.
I will do the thing that I’m guided to do during my morning meditation and journaling practice.
If I receive a message during my meditation that says I need to focus on spending more time with my daughter… I’ll organize my time around THAT.
If I’m guided to write a blog post that day… I’ll do that.
If I get a message that I need to reach out to a specific friend or family member…...
At the beginning of March, I joined two of my friends in a month-long exercise challenge where we had to commit to doing some sort of exercise every single day. It was a very interesting month. I had two business trips – one to San Diego and the other to Japan (which included two 24-hour travel days). I also had to deal with a snow day at the beginning of the month… so my daughter was home from school on a day that I didn’t plan for. One of my friends I was doing the challenge with got incredibly sick and was hosting a number of events around the same time. Despite these seemingly very good excuses not to follow through, we all still managed to complete our challenge!
Every single day we did some sort of exercise. On the days I was traveling, and it felt like I didn’t have any time whatsoever, I did an 8 minute Fastblast – which is a HIIT workout (a high intensity interval training workout). On the days...
In this 36-minute video you'll learn about the 8 steps to optimal well-being.