30 Day Renewal - The Desire To Lose Weight vs The Desire For Food

fitness goal setting goals lifestyle change optimal health optimal lifestyle personal growth wellbeing wellness Jun 07, 2021

My weight loss journey has been a real struggle for me these past couple of years.

I’ve been dealing with:

  • Hormone changes
  • Aging
  • High stress & anxiety levels
  • Depression
  • Programs not working (and other excuses)

However, when you have a high desire to lose weight coupled with a high desire for food, those other issues I listed above are not really the problem.

Today is Day 29 of my 30-day renewal and I’ve learned a lot! Truly the transformation I experienced did not occur with my body like I thought it would. The transformation came from opening my eyes to the fact that I REALLY want to lose weight… and I REALLY get a lot of pleasure from eating food and drinking good wine.

This is my current programing, and I didn’t realize how powerful and ingrained into my subconscious it is.

This is a great realization to have – but now what?!


Well, now I need to address this high desire for delicious food and good wine. My brain is sending me signals subconsciously that I NEED those things to survive.

You might read this and think, “well duh Kelsey, you DO need food to survive!” Yes you’re right... as humans we need oxygen, food & water to survive but statistics show that obesity in the US was at 42.4% in 2017-18.


Apparently, consumption of junk food and alcohol sky-rocketed during the pandemic, so imagine what those numbers are now.


My next step is to look at this weight loss journey from another perspective, and my plan is to embrace and incorporate the 4-C Formula.

I learned the 4-C Formula from Dan Sullivan who is the founder of Strategic Coach alongside his partner Babs Smith.

Dan Sullivan teaches that every breakthrough starts with Commitment (the first C). That’s the easy part. I can make a commitment to achieve 100 goals per day! I love committing myself to big goals - long term and short term. That's the fun and exciting part.


The problem is as humans we don’t stick to those commitments because our brains are wired to be averse to change.

The second C is Courage. This is key! We must have enough courage to stick with the plan and go through and process all the scary and painful feelings related to the change that we’re making.

This is when all the excuses come out:

  • I’m not disciplined or capable enough
  • This program doesn’t work for me
  • This is too scary or hard
  • I’ve already tried that

Then you start to feel:

  • Shame
  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Deprivation

So typically this is where people will quit or procrastinate. The crazy part about this, is that IT’S ALL NORMAL! This is the resistance I was talking about last week. You can read that Blog Post here.


It is totally normal for our brains to go down the path of resistance, so the trick is to anticipate the resistance and understand that going through the stage of Courage is going to be uncomfortable. It’s not going to be fun but if you want to experience a breakthrough, it’s necessary.

When you find that Courage, move forward WITH the crappy & scary discomfort, FEEL all the feels, and manage your mindset... you create the third C which is Capability.

You have Capability because you have created a new skill set and new neural pathways in the brain to get through the discomfort. WooHoo!

Developing new capabilities leads to the fourth C which is Confidence. You believe in yourself, you trust in your abilities, and you’ve created evidence that you can do hard things!


I’m going to implement the 4-C Formula as I dive into my relationship with food and the high desire I currently have for it.

I can tell myself “but I love good food and good wine… it’s an art form… it makes me happy… why would I deprive myself of that”… and ALL the other excuses, but the truth is the desire for food is getting in the way of my desire to get healthier and lose weight. 

I basically have two options… either reduce my desire to get healthier, or reduce my desire to eat and drink certain things. I can’t strongly desire both if I want to achieve this goal.

I also know that the REAL reason my desire for these foods is so high is because I'm using them to cope, to numb, to avoid, to buffer. So I’m committing to losing the weight I’ve gained and reducing my desire for foods that are not serving me. 

I’ve done it before and I can do it again, but I need to work through the Courage stage and anticipate that it’s not going to feel very good. It’s going to be uncomfortable, and I need to embrace that. Otherwise I won’t achieve my desired outcome.


Last week I also posted a video about embracing the resistance that surfaces when we work towards making massive changes in our lives. You can watch it HERE and let me know if any of it resonates with you.

We're smart! We know making certain changes will massively increase the quality of our lives - but it can be so hard to stick with it!

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