How Do I Manage My Desires Around Food & Wine?

goal setting goals lifestyle change optimal health optimal lifestyle wellbeing wellness Jun 14, 2021

How to control eating habits? What are the thoughts that eliminate desire? How do you become indifferent to food and wine? 


Imagine being head over heels in love with someone only to find out they are a serial killer, torture puppies for fun, and are a horrible human being. That desire is gone!

Take a moment to visualize a delicious brownie (or some other food you have a HIGH desire for) and conjure up the feelings of wanting it sooooo badly. Now visualize it being full of maggots and it has cockroaches crawling all over it. Instantly that desire is gone.

When we say, “I want that cupcake”, wanting it is not a fact... it’s a choice.

Wanting a glass of wine is not a fact. Wanting is a choice. The desire for certain foods is a choice, but our brains are powerful so we trick ourselves into thinking and feeling that we want that cupcake… that we NEED it.

What do you want to create for yourself? Make a million dollars? Stop drinking? Stop eating food that isn’t serving you? Start your own business?

What do you desire that is getting in the way of achieving that? Do you have a desire for watching Netflix at night? Do you desire getting lost in Facebook and Instagram? Desire procrastination? Desire wanting to control how others see you?

I know it feels like we have no control over certain desires but, we do. Our brains are programmed to think that if I don’t have that thing or do that thing I desire - I will die.

We need to take a step back and realize that we’re creating that desire.

When it comes to my weight loss journey I’m also creating the anxiety and frustration over my weight… I’m creating all the noise in my head about how I look. I’m creating the crazy making of thinking: “Should I have a glass of wine tonight or order in some delicious food… or maybe that’s a bad idea… well, some amazing stuff happened today so I want to celebrate… I deserve this… or some crappy stuff happened today so I deserve this”.


I’m choosing all that craziness over peace of mind and contentment.


I’m choosing wine and certain foods over peace of mind and happiness – isn’t that crazy!

Our brains see the craziness as much safer place to be than having to change the things we’re comfortable with and actually deal with our emotions. Our brains are averse to going through the difficulty of making massive changes.

My brain sees wine or pizza or chocolate and other foods I enjoy as more pleasurable than peace of mind. Eating those foods is more pleasurable than getting rid of the anxiety and frustration over the way my body looks.


It’s more pleasurable than having the body I want.


But then my intellect takes a look at this and thinks, “well it’s not REALLY more pleasurable than having the body I want… ok, then give all that up”. Cue the freak out - Wait what? All of it? Forever?

Do you see the tug of war?

In the moment like wine & pizza more than having the body I want.

But then I feel like crap because I KNOW that stuff isn’t good for me and it’s getting in the way of me having the body I do desire …. So I feel shame, and anger, and guilt, and I beat myself up.

And THAT doesn’t feel very good, so I pour myself a glass of wine and I eat the pizza.

You see, the tricky part to all of this is that when I stop drinking wine and no longer eat the things that aren’t serving me – I don’t automatically get the body I want. It doesn’t happen in an instant.

Not eating and drinking those things gives me frustration and fear. I experience feelings of deprivation, irritability and anxiety, and if I don’t suppress them with the glass of wine or chocolate it means I’m forced to deal with them. That’s the courage part of the 4-C Formula.

You must FEEL what’s really going on inside you. And it’s really hard!

The question is: Who do I want to become? 

This is more than just wanting to lose 20 pounds. I want to manage my emotions. I want to become more capable. I want to be more confident. I want to master certain areas of my life. I want to evolve and grow and operate as the best version of myself.

So the next question is: Does the best version of myself desire wine and food MORE than creating an incredible and abundant life? NO!

Well, it looks like I have some work to do! 

Getting through the Courage portion of the 4-C Formula is going to suck, so you might as well take your Commitment (the first C in the formula) and make it count!

What is the commitment you want to make to yourself? How can you stretch that even further?

Last week I posted a video on YouTube about The 4-C Formula that I learned about from Dan Sullivan. You can check it out HERE and learn how to incorporate using the formula in your life. 

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