How to let go, and MOVE ON

life coaching mental health mindset self care stress management Jun 16, 2022

A couple weeks ago I spent a week on a tropical beach to celebrate a dear friend's milestone Birthday - and the unintended "theme" of the week was LET IT GO.


There were 7 of us traveling together and all of us were learning to really let go in various ways.


Let go of the past...

Let go of limiting beliefs...

Let go of old stories...

Let go of expectations...

And I had to let go of my beloved CHANEL Sunglasses! 😳


They were the ONLY glasses I’ve owned that truly fit me well. I have a small head so good fitting hats and glasses are hard to find, and I had purchased those sunglasses over 12 years ago. They fit perfectly, and during all those years I never had to have them adjusted. They had the perfect amount of coverage, the lenses were perfectly tinted, they were classically styled but still incredibly fashionable… and now my beloved CHANEL sunglasses belong to the pacific ocean.


Let me just say this - I know in the grande scheme of things, losing a pair of sunglasses is not a big deal.


I'm cognizant of the fact there are tragic events happening all around the world, and over the past few weeks I've been processing my own rage and devastation about these events.


AND I felt sick over the loss of my sunglasses.


I really felt it. I felt a bit like someone had punched me in the gut.


AND that feeling in the pit of my gut I experienced had absolutely nothing to do with losing the sunglasses.


It had everything to do with holding on to something I thought gave me some form of pleasure or comfort or joy.


But here's the thing...


We can't move FORWARD and step into the next phase of our lives if we're holding on to the past... or old stories... or expectations.


Is letting go uncomfortable?



Is it worth moving through that discomfort in order to detach ourselves from what we've been unconsciously clutching onto for who knows how long?



So in order for me to move through the abrupt loss of something this is a part of my every day - I stood in the ocean as the powerful waves were crashing down around me and I felt into the feeling. 


It felt unjust… I felt angry at myself for wearing them while we were in the ocean… I felt stupid… I felt sad… I felt like I wanted to rewind and go back in time… I felt sick… I felt like I might still be able to find them (maybe if I feel around with my feet long enough, or maybe they’ll wash back up onto the sand)… my brain wanted to hold on so badly. The last thing it wanted to do was let go.


Now let’s look at this from the perspective of old stories and limiting beliefs that hold us back.


Our brains are CONVINCED that these old stories, limiting beliefs, and expectations hold some form of pleasure or safety... when in fact they are holding you back from becoming who you want to be.


Look for patterns in your life. In your business.


If our thoughts dictate our results, those patterns are reoccurring because of the thoughts you are telling yourself.


I workout multiple times a week because the thoughts I have about exercising generate certain feelings that motivate my actions. 


I record a podcast every single week because of the thoughts I have about serving my listeners, showing up, and being consistent. 


I also have thoughts that hold me back. 


I have fears that are generated because of the thoughts I have about circumstances I’m facing.


Do you find yourself in the same situations over and over again? Do you complain about the same things Where in your life do you find yourself being judgmental? Where do you recognize yourself playing small or holding yourself back? Are there repetitive stories you keep telling yourself? Is there anything in your past that you continue to blame for your current situation?


These are great questions to ask yourself if you want to uncover what you might be holding onto, and what might be keeping you from really stepping into your power... or into the next phase of your life or your business… or holding you back from unleashing the women who already exists inside of you just waiting to be liberated. 


One of the women in our group wasn’t able to join us on this trip. At the very last minute she received an email and had to cancel her trip for personal reasons. She was actually at the airport, ready to board the plane when she received this email and had to abort the plan.


She had to let go of this incredible vacation with a group of loved ones. A time to connect with friends, be in nature, and get away after 2 ½ years of dealing with the pandemic. 


She had to let that go. 

I can only imagine how painful that was.


Another one of my friends was in the process of letting go of all the negative and self-deprecating thoughts she continually has about herself. 


She went through a painful divorce a few years ago, and is now in a new relationship which seems like it’s soooooo good for her, but I think after her divorce the negative self talk pattern she’s gotten herself into really ramped up. Now when it happens her new boyfriend says “don’t talk about my girlfriend that way!”. 


And when we were on this trip and I’d catch her speaking negatively about herself, so I’d say "Stop. Tell me 3 things you love about yourself!”


And she laugh and grown - but IT WAS HARD.


It was hard for her brain to try and search for multiple things that she loves about herself because her brain is a lot more comfortable latching onto the negative.


Her brain even searches for EVIDENCE to support her negative thoughts about herself - so when I’d throw a curve ball at it and try to get her brain to think of the wonderful and beautiful and magnificent things about her... her brain was like "wait, what"?!


This doesn’t feel right.

This doesn’t feel safe.

This doesn’t even feel real!

But the more she does it - the more comfortable her brain will see how truly amazing she is.


This is something we ALL could practice a lot more of. More self-love. Creating more neural pathways in our brain where seeing our beauty and brilliance is the default.


Our brain loves to be in control - we feel safe when we have control, but isn’t it interesting that the very thing our brain craves - actually increases our stress and anxiety levels, decreases our levels of happiness and fulfillment, and interferes with our quality of life.


Because the reality is we CAN’T control everything. As much as our brains want to be in control, it’s an impossible feat which then leads to misery.


Where in your life do you need to let go of control? 


What areas of your life and your business are you holding onto? Where are you “efforting” - trying to make things different from what they are? 


I had to let go of those damn sunglasses but really - I when I thought about our Letting Go theme of the week, I realized I’m in the process of letting go of a lot of fear.


I’m letting go of a new layer of limiting beliefs about myself and my business. 


I’m letting go of the blocks that are holding me back so I can step into the next phase of my life and my business.


I’m afraid of the next level of abundance I’m stepping into.


I’m afraid it’s all going to come crashing down because I’m going to mess it up.


I’m afraid I’m not good enough to make my vision for my life and my business come true.


What are you afraid of?


And if you let that go… how liberating would that be? How does that open up the door of new possibilities and opportunities for you?


I invite you to journal about this and see where you can embrace the letting go theme that my friends and I were thrust into this past week - and let me know what comes up for you.


And if you need some extra support in going through this process - reach out to me. 


I’m here for you. I’m here to get you on track to becoming an UNSTOPPALBE entrepreneur. To making 6-figures. To serving more people. To working SMARTER not harder. To feeling fulfilled as you grow your business, and feeling enthusiastic and motivated to expand, learn and evolve as a business owner.


What do you need to let go of?

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